Last night I found out that my father will be leaving for England next week to live. And when I sit back and think, I probably will never see him again I am releaved.
My father is a piece of work, and back in July I came to the decision that I really didn't want him in my life or my kids life. Growing up he was never there for me. My parents got divorced when I was pretty young, and we did try the every other weekend schedule and then all of a sudden he was gone. Moved to England and went 4 years without a phone call, card or any type of communication. He Comes back to the states and expects us to forgive and forget. I don't think so, but I did until he ups and leaves again, going only god knows where and calls whenever he wants to brag about his life or tell us lies about what kind of dad he is going to be. So when he came back to visit in July I made the adult decision that I really didn't need him in my life. He was never there during the important events in my life and I really don't want him to be there for the remaining events in my life. I decided to have my brothers give me away at my wedding since they were there for me everyday and they were they ones who meant more to me then my dad. Sad but true.
Him moving to England is the best thing. I felt bad thinking about cutting him out of my life because he is my father, but with him moving I don't have to worry about it anymore because I know there will be no contact. He doesn't even really contact me know and we live in the same country. So today I feel a little happiness that a bad part of my life is gone and probably forever. He is not getting any younger and once he leaves I don't think he will come back to visit his kids or grandkids.
So today I am saying "good bye" to the father of mine, who gave me a name.
2 comments:
I just heard this song on the radio today!
That is very sad when father's act like that, it's something I've never been able to understand. How can you create this human being and then not be there to love, comfort, hold, and care for them? I had the same sort of problem with my Dad and had to tell him that I don't need that drama in my life and when he felt he was ready to be a Dad, then he could contact me. Took a long time and many attempts but we are finally working on things.
You are a great person with a wonderful family that loves and cares for you, too bad the bad apple happens to be your Dad.
I just read this today...and it made me feel for you. I had to cut my sister out of my life recently (which also includes my nephew). And it was sad but also a huge weight off my shoulders. What else can you do sometimes?
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